Curse of Enigma

My name…arrr that’zzz not important. I’m just another kick azzz traveler, like you. Let me tell you a story.

It all happenzzz the day I found this strange looking glooming sword…‘Enigma’, yeahzzz, other travelers told me its name is Enigma. And they told me the Secret of Enigma: ‘lvl 24, lvl 24 – lvl 28, 7 O hell’. Who knowzzz what the hell were they talking about? I don’t care, guess they come from another world and speak funny language. But that’zzz another story…

Were was I?...ahhh, yeahzzz, the sword. Tiz no ordinary sword. It’zzz alive! It has its own will!...erkem…excuzzz me…tiz sword aims only killing spots of your enemies’. You see an ugly monster, you lift da sword, and whhhala! Critical Hit!. Tiz ugly beast no more and you lurk da corpse over and over until nothing’z left. Perfect equation.

But nooooooo! Tiz a curse! You cannot put down tiz sword anymore, you eat with it, you sleep with it…No! You can’t have sex with a sword! What were you tinnking!...soon you will not feel the excitement of murdering your opponent anymore. I used to yell ‘Die! You @$#%@#$%! Hahahaha! @#$!@$%!’ after a good fight…ahhh…good old days. But now, all I know is Critical Hit! Critical Hit! Critical Hit!.

I don’t wear armors these days hoping the monsterzzz could hurt me, but they were cut into pieces before they could fight back. All the unique weapons mean nothing to me, what Seal of Star, Seal of Moon, all thrown away. I don’t visit the church anymore, I’m now a lonely ghost…

What! You tinnk tiz boring? Shut up and get lost! You make me sick!